Friday, September 18, 2009
It's all in what I get done
As I go to bed at night and review the day in my mind, it's all about what I got done. My journal entries will likely be amazingly boring as my feelings of well-being and success are so often based on the length of the list of things I have accomplished that day. Unfortunately, I usually don't accomplish much while the children are awake, so it all comes after hours. But there are days that I actually get some peaches frozen before they go bad, I pick some raspberries, I pick up and drop off all my kids on time, I find friends for my kids to play with so they don't spend too much time in front of some screen or another, my clothes get folded, (well, not usually, but they are usually washed) and I spend a few minutes with each kid on homework or reading or something. That's a rare day when all that happens in one day, but there is a feeling of super-mom-ness that makes me think maybe I wasn't totally crazy to have seven kids in my family.
Usually my sights are much lower and I have to be glad that they all got some food fairly close to a mealtime and that no one was left waiting somewhere for mom to remember them. I'm glad if the fridge has food and the kids have clothes and if I get to call a friend, well, then that's a real bonus. But, if one of my kids sit on my lap for a few minutes and I get to breathe their essence, orif they hold my hand or tell me stories about their friends from school, that is when the true feelings of happiness come, because then, finally I am not just a maid with a list of things to do, but a mom with kids who want to share my time, my space, my life.
Usually my sights are much lower and I have to be glad that they all got some food fairly close to a mealtime and that no one was left waiting somewhere for mom to remember them. I'm glad if the fridge has food and the kids have clothes and if I get to call a friend, well, then that's a real bonus. But, if one of my kids sit on my lap for a few minutes and I get to breathe their essence, orif they hold my hand or tell me stories about their friends from school, that is when the true feelings of happiness come, because then, finally I am not just a maid with a list of things to do, but a mom with kids who want to share my time, my space, my life.
So let it be written
I act as if I have time to write, to do anything more on the computer than is absolutely necessary, to do anything on the computer at all unless it is late, late at night and the kids are all snug in their beds...where I should be. But if I have a place to share a few thoughts. And more importantly a few pictures, maybe I'll join the throng in thinking I might have something interesting to say. Between e-mail, Facebook, MyFamily and reading an occasional blog I might never have time to pick up the phone and call anyone again, but at least some other people who have time on their computers somewhere else will know that I still exist here, at least on some level.
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